Monday, February 18, 2013

Excuse Making.

Alright. I'm writing this post in full awareness that my current state of emotional well being has been compromised by my complete lack of sleep during this President's Day weekend.  I get a little over dramatic when I'm exhausted. Just ask my mother... or any of my ex-boyfriends. 

Let me ask you a question. How many of you have ever had a dream or a goal that you wanted so bad you would do anything to attain it? And yet, without any real excuse, somehow talked yourself out of even trying?

Welcome to my evening. 

For months now, I've been dreaming about doing an Interior Design internship in London next Fall. There are plenty of companies that organize internships exactly like this for students like myself. They find the internship, the housing, the flights, everything. Perfect right? Any rational person in my position would just leap in and say yes, but as I've proven time and time again, I am far from what you would consider "rational". As I was looking at the website this evening, I couldn't help but think things like:

  • There's no way I'm qualified for this.
  • What if they think the color boards I send in are crap?
  • Interview? That's just perfect for the girl whose foot lives in her mouth.
  • The last interview I had was for a children's clothing store in the mall... 
  • What would I even wear to an interview like this?
  • Forget the interview, what do I wear to the internship?
  • I only own one pencil skirt.
  • Are Chacos considered fashion forward in London?
  • What if I don't even get to meet Alan Rickman? 
I couldn't help it. Isn't he adorable?

You see my dilemma? I had all but completely given up when I had a startling realization... I'm an idiot. Why would I let such insignificant fears stop me from pursuing such an incredible dream? Anyone who knows me can testify to the fact that I have been suffering from chronic wanderlust. This is everything I've ever wanted since I hit puberty and went through my awkward, J.K. Rowling is the only one who understands me, phase. 

So I'm taking my own advice and making it work. I'm 22, healthy, ambitious, and single (grimace). I refuse to let my fears limit me at such a young age. As my beautiful, prophetic mother would tell me: 

Go be fabulous! 

And I'm encouraging all of you to do the same. Let's face it. Life will never be easy. You will always be facing some sort of trial. There will always be bills to pay, jobs to go to, responsibilites to uphold, and the majority of us will never completely be financially stable (sorry to burst your bubble). What I'm trying to say is there will always be an excuse not to follow your dream. The hard part is saying, "Screw it!" and follow it anyway, despite the screaming voices in your head reminding you of all things that could possibly go wrong. Don't you dare hold yourself back. Life is too short to be anything other than completely happy.

I'll leave you with that. 

All my love always.